


Would Love to Love You

by TeenCaterpillar



Series: Harringrove Snippets [20]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: And to accept that what he's done doesn't limit what he can do, Billy Hargrove Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Bonding, El just wants Billy to stop beating himself up, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Billy Hargrove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26088031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeenCaterpillar/pseuds/TeenCaterpillar
Summary: “What?” He grunted.  She tilted her head, giving him an almost sad look.“Why do you look at Steve that way?” Billy choked on his spit.  He breathed a little harsher, exhaling sharply through his nose.“What way?” He didn’t know why he was trying to play it off, but to be honest, he’d never really come out in any traditional way.  Had never admitted out loud what he was.“Scared.  Are you scared of him?” She asked.  Billy inhaled shakily and shook his head.  “For him?” He didn’t move, didn’t respond, which he supposed was answer enough.  She scooted closer to him in the booth, one of the corner ones so everyone could fit when they weren’t playing games.  They sat there in silence for a while, Billy pushing the shake to El so she could finish it.  “Steve is strong,” she said, slurping up the last of the mostly melted shake.  “You do not need to worry.”
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Billy Hargrove
Series: Harringrove Snippets [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1506065
Comments: 7
Kudos: 189





	Would Love to Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago and went back to finish it, but I apparently already had! Or, well, where I left off ended it pretty well.
> 
> Anyway, El is having none of Billy's self loathing and she's gonna do whatever she can to help him realize that he can move past what he's done.  
> And right into Steve's arms.
> 
> Unbeta'd

Billy watched as Steve talked with the Party, hands gesturing wildly and nearly knocking Dustin’s hat off. He covered his mouth with his hand so no one would see him smiling. It faded quickly, however. He knew better. He _knew better_ than to fall for a straight boy. Had avoided it so well for so fucking long. Then Steve Harrington came along and fucked it up. Billy sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and looked back at his melting shake. Well, an attempt at one, seeing as the chocolate syrup had been poorly mixed in. When he felt eyes on him he looked to his right and found large brown eyes staring at him. El was still sitting there, just watching him, and he coughed, feeling a little awkward. She was staring so intently it made him uncomfortable.

“What?” He grunted. She tilted her head, giving him an almost sad look.

“Why do you look at Steve that way?” Billy choked on his spit. He breathed a little harsher, exhaling sharply through his nose.

“What way?” He didn’t know why he was trying to play it off, but to be honest, he’d never really come out in any traditional way. Had never admitted out loud what he was.

“Scared. Are you scared of him?” She asked. Billy inhaled shakily and shook his head. “For him?” He didn’t move, didn’t respond, which he supposed was answer enough. She scooted closer to him in the booth, one of the corner ones so everyone could fit when they weren’t playing games. They sat there in silence for a while, Billy pushing the shake to El so she could finish it. “Steve is strong,” she said, slurping up the last of the mostly melted shake. “You do not need to worry.”

“That’s--” Billy cut himself off and gave her a sad, wry smile. “I know he is.” She blinked at him and tilted her head, curious. “But there are some things… Some things where it doesn’t always matter how strong _you_ are.” El makes a small sound and nods, looking down.

“Yes.” Billy felt his hands clenching into fists. He knew vaguely what had happened to El, knew she hadn’t had a childhood, and it made him furious. While Billy was trash, El was so sweet. Sweet, kind, and caring, and that someone had taken her and fucking-- He exhaled sharply, trying to calm down. “Could you warn him?” Billy licked his lips.

“It’s not that easy,” he mumbled. “He doesn’t-- It’s more-- _Fuck_.” She giggled at his swear and he smiled slightly. It quickly faded and he looked back at the group, arguing over who got to play Galaga. Steve was watching them, a content if not exasperated look on his face.

“If Steve is in danger, he should know,” El said. Billy shrugged.

“He’s not-- He _won’t_ be in danger if I leave him out of it.” He shook his head. “If he knows that I-- He’s--” Suddenly his head felt fuzzy and El gasped next to him. He gave her a soft glare; the harshest look he could muster for a girl who’d already looked the Devil in the face and won. “Don’t,” he choked out, voice thick. She gave him a sheepish look.

“Too late,” she whispered. El took his hand and squeezed it. “Friends don’t lie,” she said, pointed and a little angry. “You say you are okay--”

“I _am_ \--”

“That,” she said, pointing to his shoulder, covered by his jacket, where his father had put out his cigarette the night before, “Is not okay.” She still hadn’t let go of his hand, and when he went to pull away, she gripped it tighter.

“It’s not lying if I don’t talk about it,” he grumbled, feeling his skin prickle with unease. He _didn’t_ talk about it because what was there to say? No one would take his word over his father’s. In fact, most people would think he _deserved_ it. They were probably right.

“No.” El tugged his hand, eyes fierce. “Wrong.” Billy sighed.

“Get outta my head, kid.” She pursed her lips but slumped in her seat.

“Just want to help,” she said quietly and it struck right through Billy’s heart.

“I know, kid, I know,” he replied, squeezing her hand. “Sometimes,” he paused, worrying his bottom lip. “Sometimes there’s nothing that can be done. Sometimes things are just… bad.” Of course, Billy didn’t need to tell _her_ that.

“Jim could help.” Her words were so earnest that it made Billy’s eyes water.

“Kid,” he sighed, swallowing around the lump in his throat, “No one is gonna believe me. My dad is good at throwing people off. Good at being a Good Neighbor and an Upstanding Citizen.”

“Jim would.”

“Dammit,” Billy grit out, frustrated and feeling like his guts and heart were taking a pounding. “I know you wanna help but even if my dad was gone it’s not like--” He had to stop talking because he was gonna cry. But Jane squeezed his hand and he felt the words spill out. “It still wouldn’t change a damn thing,” he choked out. And then, he was crying. In the _fucking_ arcade.

Billy hated crying. Hated crying in front of others, hated feeling weak, hated being so overwhelmed he couldn’t do anything but weep. And here he was, tearing up and scrubbing furiously at his eyes while a super powered girl let him hold her hand.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” he said, letting out a shuddery breath. El gripped his hand tightly, pursing her lips into a small frown.

“You’re not.” She sounded so earnest, so sure and sincere, he let out a bark of a laugh. He shook his head and gave her a weak smile.

“I really am.” She opened her mouth to respond but Billy shook his head. “Wanting someone who will never want you back is one of the dumbest things you can do, kid.”

“How do you know?” While she sounded mostly curious, Billy didn’t really have an answer that wasn’t mean. Or cruel. Or not meant for a 13 year old. And he really didn’t need a psychic kid telling him anything except what he knew was true: Steve Harrington was straight, and even if he wasn’t, was way out of Billy’s league. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to fuck for fun and Billy wasn’t worthy of a relationship. He was trash, he knew it, and Harrington deserved so much more.

“Because he’s still pining over Nancy, and even if he wasn’t, I’m not his type. He’s, uhm, not like me.” El frowned and shook her head.

“Not still in love with Nancy,” she said, matter of factly. Billy snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Aren’t you psychic?”

“Yes. So I know.” She gave him a pointed look and he couldn’t take it, so he looked away. Back to where Mike was giving him the stink eye and ignoring whatever Dustin and Lucas were arguing about. Back to where Steve was looking over, concerned. Billy turned away and quickly wiped his eyes. “You’re allowed to be happy.” His head shot up, eyes wide in shock as he looked at El. “I’ve done… bad things too. But now I have Mike. I have Jim.” She poked him in the chest. “You have us, too.”

“I’m tolerated,” Billy mumbled.

“Stop!” The party looked over when El shouted and Billy grimaced. Wheeler was making his way over, face stormy. “You always talk about yourself like that. Stop.”

“What’s going on? El, don’t you wanna play some games?” Mike was talking, _loudly_ , and Steve was starting to make his way over, and Billy was still kind of _crying_ \--

“Mike,” El said, eyes dark and voice goddamn _commanding_. Mike stuttered to a stop, face all pinched. He and Nancy had the same expression of distaste, nose scrunched, lips pinched; it made Billy laugh. Mike frowned, giving El a worried glance. Whatever he saw comforted him enough, so he turned and stalked back over to Dustin, Lucas, and Max. Steve had stopped, still looking concerned, and Billy waved him off.

“See?” Billy said. “Tolerated.”

“Mike is just worried,” she said, rolling her eyes with a fond smile. Billy was glad for them, but also so fucking _jealous_. “You’re loved. Max, me, Steve--”

“Please--”

“The whole Party cares because _Steve_ cares.” Billy felt a lump settle in his throat, but it wasn’t fear or sadness. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and he was overwhelmed, but he almost felt excited?

“El--” He didn’t know what to say.

“He’ll help you.” She pulled back, pursing her lips. “I want fries.” Billy snorted, then chuckled, then full belly laughed until she joined in. Mike glared, Lucas and Dustin watched, confused, and Max, Will, and Steve looked surprised but happy. Billy finally stopped laughing, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. Feeling almost hopeful.

“I’ll buy,” he said, standing up. The others watched as they walked to concessions, and Steve smiled, unable to stop himself.

“Oh my god,” Dustin whined. “You’re so _obvious_!” Steve blushed, making a jerking motion across his neck.

“Dustin! Shut up!” He hissed.

“No, he’s right,” Lucas said, uninterested. “You’re obvious.”

“Oh my god,” Steve whined. He looked to Will, who wouldn’t meet his eye, and then to Max who was staring right at him.

“Obvious.” She turned back to the game and Steve groaned, ears bright red. Will nudged Steve’s elbow and when he looked, gave him a small smile.

“He’s kinda obvious too, though,” he said, voice soft and almost shy. Steve bit his bottom lip so he wouldn’t smile too much.

“Yeah?” Will smiled a little more.

“Yeah.”


End file.
